KLEVER JOKES:: LAUGH, LAUGH PART 1 :: EPS. 1

Klever Jokes…

LAUGH, LAUGH

PART 1

Compulsory Sleep

This joke was submitted by:

Ohene Deborah
Oriens Complex School

Kwame Goat visited his friend, Adom one evening.

When it was time for Kwame Goat to leave it began to rain, so Adom offered Kwame a place to sleep.

Adom slept upstairs and Goat downstairs. At 11 p.m. Adom came downstairs to fetch some drinking water. When he was about to go back upstairs, he heard a knock on the door.

He went to check and saw Kwame Goat at the door.

Adom: But, Kwame Goat, where did you go to?

Kwame Goat: Oh, Adom, hmm. I went home to get my pyjamas!

Faithful God

Kwabena Funny was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her a broom.

Kwabena Funny: “Mama, I don’t want to go out there. It’s dark.”

Mother: “You don’t have to be afraid of the dark. God is out there. He’ll look after you and protect you.”

Kwabena Funny: “Are you sure God is really out there?”

Mother: “Yes, I’m sure. God is everywhere, and He is always ready to help you when you need Him.”

Kwabena Funny walked to the door, looked at the dark porch, and shouted at the top of his voice: “God, I know you are out there on the porch, kindly bring the broom. Mama needs it!”

Waist-locked Statue

Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?
Kwabena Funny: Because it can’t sit down!

 

Fair Play

Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Kwabena Funny: That’s not fair! You answer the easy ones and give us the hard one!

Money Homework
Kwabena Funny went to the supermarket holding a notebook. He showed the sales lady a list that had the following information:

10 kilo sugar at Gh¢ 1.25 a kilo
4 kilo coffee at Gh¢1.50 a kilo
2 kilo butter at Gh¢1.10 a kilo
2 bars soap at Gh¢0.83 each

As the sales lady read the list Kwabena Funny took out his wallet.

“If I buy all that how much would it cost me?” asked Kwabena Funny.

“Twenty-two Ghana Cedis and thirty-six pesewas,” the lady eagerly answered.

Kwabena Funny took three ten cedi notes from his wallet.

“If I gave you these three ten cedi notes, how much change would I get?” he asked.

Seven cedis and sixty-four pesewas,” said the sales lady as she stretched out her hand for the money.

Kwabena Funny put the money back in his wallet, wrote something in the notebook and turned towards the door.

“Lady, thank you for helping me with my homework,” Kwabena Funny said.

Dead Man Riding

During an English lesson, the teacher noticed that Kwabena Funny was not paying attention to him.

Teacher: Kwabena, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body.

Kwabena Funny (thinking for a while): I saw a dead body cycling to school.

No Point Pointing Out

Question: What did the triangle say to the circle?

Kwabena Funny:  You’re pointless!

Daddy D

Question: What does a baby computer call his father?
Kwabena Funny:  Data!

 

Geography Genius

Tourist: How would you describe the rain in this part of the country?
Kwabena Funny: Little drops of water falling from the sky!

Edible Homework

Teacher:Kwabena, where is your homework?”
Kwabena Funny: I ate it.
Teacher: “Why?”
Kwabena Funny:
“Yesterday you said it was a piece of cake!”

 

Spare Feet

Teacher: “You’ve got your shoes on the wrong feet.”
Kwabena Funny:
“But these are the only feet I’ve got!”

Unfair Justice

Kwabena Funny: “Teacher, will you punish somebody for something he didn’t do?”
Teacher:Of course not, but why do you ask?”
Kwabena Funny: “Thank goodness, because I didn’t do my homework.”

Who got a Bill?

Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A: “Put it on my bill.”

Reality Cheque

At a job interview, the Manager asked

Kwabena Funny:

“And what salary are you looking for?”

Kwabena Funny replied:

“What about Ghc 20,000 a month?”

The Manager replied:

“Well, what would you say to a package of three days’ vacation to London every two weeks fully sponsored, two limousines, four houses, three free cars, free food every day and three days weekend every week?”

Kwabena Funny sits up straight and says, “Wow! Are you kidding?”

The Manager replied, “Yes, but you started it.”

Cat Boy

Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Kwabena Funny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Kwabena Funny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”

Kwabena Funny: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Kwabena Funny: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Kwabena Funny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Kwabena Funny: “Because I’ve already got one cat at home!”

 

Incomplete Calculator

Teacher: Kwabena, why couldn’t you add 10 + 5 on the calculator?
Kwabena Funny: I couldn’t find the “10” button on the calculator.

Every bean is a bean

The teacher asked her students to use the word “beans” in a sentence.

Richard: “My father grows beans.”

Rachel: “My mother cooks beans.”

Kwabena Funny:  “We are all human beans.”

Gender Google

Kwabena Funny: “I don’t think Google is a male. I think Google is a female because it won’t let you finish a sentence before making a lot of suggestions!”

Strong Definition

Teacher:  Photosynthesis is the topic for today. Kwabena, what is photosynthesis?

Kwabena Funny: Photosynthesis is the topic for today.

Full attire:

Mr. Badu came to the office to see the painter wearing two coats and painting.

Mr. Badu:

Why are you wearing coats to paint?

The painter picked up the gallon that contained the paint and showed Mr. Badu an inscription on the gallon that said:

For best result, put on two coats!

 

Hope you had fun!

If you have some real rib-cracking jokes, kindly send them to Eunice on WhatsApp  0208176889.

We’ll publish them with your name and picture!

 

 

 

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